Be a role model. Kids emulate parents’ behavior.
How to raise and develop your child’s emotional intelligence?
While high IQ (intelligence quotient) children become successful adults, it has also been proven that children with high EQ (emotional quotient) are happier and as influential and successful in life because they know how to manage their emotions better and have greater insight into the emotions of others. It is never too late to give your children the upper hand in life by teaching them to understand their emotions and others. Start today!
There are 4 parts to Emotional Intelligence:
1. Perceiving emotions
“What are you feeling?”
Most children have difficulty describing their emotions. Try playing detective to find out what he’s feeling—help him understand his emotions by teaching him words for his feelings. At the end of the day, this skill is not just limited to sensing emotions in oneself and other people but it is also used to understand the emotions in objects of art, in a story and even in music. You can help your child develop this part of his EQ by showing him things or asking him to listen to sounds and ask him how they make him feel.
2. Use emotions to assist thought
“Remember how you felt then?”
Teaching a small child to do this might require a little scripting. Try using previous conflicts to help your child solve a problem. For example, if your older son tries to grab his little sister’s toy, try to rationalize with him by reminding him how he felt the last time someone did that to him and ask him if there is another way to get what he wants. This will help them become more creative when it comes to problem solving.
3. Understanding emotions
“I understand how you feel.”
The lesson here is to listen first. Set an example and show your child that it is important to listen and to think before giving an appropriate
answer. Understanding emotions in language involves understanding the transition between emotions. For example, how irritation can turn
into anger, which can then turn into rage. Watch carefully how you respond to their emotions. It is acceptable to say “It upsets me when you do that”, instead of saying, “Go away! You are driving me insane!” Excessive criticisms can chip away at your child’s self confidence. Try using empathy instead. Validate his emotions. Don’t brush his feelings away—instead, get him to acknowledge them and understand why h
is feeling that way—and that it is okay to feel that way.
The earlier emotional education begins the better. Bear in mind, different ages have different social and emotional needs.
4. Manage emotions
“Calm down, dear”
There are many ways one can learn to manage their emotions. The hardest to manage is anger or rage. Provide your children with creative ways to get those feelings off their chest. Some suggestions like stomping the feet to doing an angry dance or singing an angry song may work well with younger children, while older children may resort to punching pillows, going for a run, or maybe even playing a musical instrument to help calm themselves down.
Be honest
Don’t confuse your child and pretend that you’re not angry when you actually are. Always set an example and show your child how difficult feelings can be managed by acknowledging it. Emotional intelligence is not hereditary—it can be learned. It is never too late to work on your own emotional intelligence and having children is a great reason to start!
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